Just a Small Town Girl: 34 – He’s Gone

Processed with VSCOcam with s2 preset

When Daisy had walked into the house and saw the note on the kitchen counter, her heart began to race.  When she read his words, “I wish my love were enough, I’ve gone back to LA and will talk to you when I’m ready,” she was acutely aware of the blood rushing in her ears, and the room began to spin.  The next thing she could remember was waking up on the floor, and her head was bleeding a little.  She quickly realized she had passed out and hit her head on the counter on her way down.  By looking at her watch, she realized she had been out for about 20 minutes.

She pulled herself up and tended to the cut on her head and stretched out on the couch.  The same place she laid the night before with her head resting in her husband’s lap.  There it was, that word – husband.  She hated that word, why couldn’t he just be her boyfriend?  Why couldn’t things just go back to the relatively uncomplicated scenario of their life before Vegas?  Of course, who was she kidding?  They had been dating for two weeks before Vegas, and they had not been in the same city or the same time zone.  Hell, they had not even been in the same country!  No attempt had been made to have a regular dating life, and they could have failed at that.

She was not insane; okay, maybe she was off-center just a little bit but not when it came to this.  She was rational.  He had not known her long enough to know she was ‘the one’ and that their life would be full of sunshine and rainbows.  He was delusional when it came to them having a happy marriage; that is all there was to it.  He had finally come to his senses and had decided to give her the divorce, and all would be right in the world.  But if that was the case, why did this hurt so much?  Why did it feel like her heart had been ripped out of her body?  Why did she ache so deeply and thoroughly?

She picked up the phone and started to text him and stopped.  He didn’t want to talk to her so she needed to have some control and not speak to him.  Instead, she listened to a voicemail he had left her a few days ago; she just wanted to hear the deep timbre of his voice.  She needed it to calm her heart; she listened to it three times.

She then dialed Melody’s number, she was able to choke out the words that she needed to talk and asked her to come over.  Within minutes, her best friend was at her door with a half gallon of mint chocolate chip ice cream, a jar of hot fudge, and a can of whipped cream.

“What is going on that you called me all upset?”  Melody asked as she walked into the house and began looking around, “And where is Chris?”  This made the tears start to flow all over again for Daisy, and suddenly Melody realized he was the reason for the desperate phone call.  “Daisy, did something happen between you two?”

Daisy nodded her head and moved toward the counter to retrieve the note.  Handing it to Melody, she said, “He left and went back to LA.  I think he is going to sign the divorce papers, and I have lost him for good.”

“Well, that is what you wanted, right?  I mean you have been saying all week you wanted a divorce.”

“I know that is what I said, but I don’t think I really meant it,” she admitted.

“Ok, let me tackle this in small doses so I can digest and understand.  Do you love Chris, I mean really love him and not just have a crush on him because he is an actor and you think he is dreamy?”

Daisy didn’t answer verbally, she just nodded her head.

“Are you scared of him?  I mean him, not his fans or his family but are you scared of him.”

Again, no verbal answer but she shook her head to indicate that she was not scared of him.

“You are terrified of his fans, right?  And you are terrified of his mom?”

If Daisy nodded her head any harder, she would give herself a concussion.

“Daisy, is there more to this than you are telling me?”

She stood from the couch and began to pace the living room, the idea of opening up to any of this was terrifying.  “If I open up to you, I need you to promise me that you won’t tell him any of this.  I know he came to see you, and I am sure he will call you, or you will call him, but I mean it Mel – this stays between us.”

She could tell that Daisy was serious, and she was actually a little worried about what her friend was going to admit, “Absolutely, stays between us.  You can trust me.”

“I know it will sound stupid, but I’ve never had anyone love me like he does.  I mean my parents love me without question because they are my parents.  It scares me that he loves me so much and then you layer that with his fans and I don’t even want to begin to worry about his mom and his sisters,”  her steps became heavier as she moved from one side of the living room to the other.

“Wait, you are freaking out because of how much he loves you?  That makes no fucking sense!”

Daisy stopped and just stared at her friend, “Sure it does, I mean what if he fell in love so fast and he falls out of love even faster?  He met me at a movie premiere and an after party, and weeks later I am married to him.  This makes no sense, and he acts like he can’t live without me.  He dated what’s her name off and on for years and never married her.”

“Did you think that maybe he never married her because she wasn’t the right one for him?  Maybe she was nothing more than a diversion when he needed it.”

“Melody!  Oh my goodness, how can you say that?”

“Is part of this, maybe most of this, because you didn’t get to wear that dress?”

“What dress?”

“The one that you have stashed in the back of the store?  I remember when that dress came in – you were dating Michael, and you put that dress on the mannequin and stared at it for days.  Then you finally got up the nerve to try it on and when it fit and you felt like a Princess you refused to put it back on the mannequin. Don’t tell me you don’t remember that?”

“I didn’t keep it, I put it back out to sell,” she said shifting her eyes toward the opposite wall; unable to make eye contact with her friend at that moment.

“You can’t lie to me, that dress is still in the storeroom, and I am surprised Chris didn’t see it when you two were working back there yesterday.  Or did he and you dodged a question or two about it?”

“I am disappointed that I had a wedding that I don’t remember, I will admit that and will admit that it is a tremendous part of the equation with Chris.  I have nothing to remember it by; no pictures or mementos and I had no reception where I had friends and family to dance or have fun with.  No tossing of the bouquet or tossing of the garter.   I had none of the romance that I sell for a living, and I want that so much.”

“And it never dawned on you to sit that man down and tell him this?  It never crossed your mind to tell him that you wanted to have a traditional wedding to go along with your non-traditional ceremony?”  Melody let her questions linger for a moment and gave her friend time to respond, but when she didn’t she fired back at her.  “Daisy, when Chris sat with me yesterday morning, it was clear as could be that he is head over heels for you and would do anything to make this work.  You could have told him you wanted a real wedding, and he would have done it for you.”

“He would have thought I was insane.”

“First, you don’t know that and second, even if he thought you were crazy, he would have done it for you because he would give you whatever you want.”

“It doesn’t matter now, he made his decision.  He gave up and went back to LA,” she started pacing again and this time her steps were softer, and she was walking slower. “He’s right you know, I fought him every bit as hard as he was fighting me.  I am too hard-headed for my own good.”

“You can fix this if you want; give him a day or two to lick his wounds and feel like a big man for walking away.  But you can call him and tell him you want to make this work.”

“You mean go crawling back to him?”

“Daisy, think of it like that if you must but if you want him back, you need to do it.  Tell him you are an idiot because let’s face it, you are!  Tell him you miss him and you’ve realized the error of your ways, and you want to fix it.  He will take you back and isn’t that what you want?  Don’t let your ego get in the way.”

Daisy stopped pacing and fell to the floor, she put her head in her hands and began to cry.  The first real tears she had shed over this entire situation.  Melody didn’t move to comfort her, she knew Daisy needed to get this out, but when she saw her shoulders shaking and knew that whole body wracking sobs had started, she moved to comfort her.

After a few moments, Daisy sat up and dried her face, “I didn’t want to do that, I’m sorry.”

“Don’t apologize, it isn’t a sign of weakness you know.  You have come to the realization that you might have lost someone who would have made you happy, no matter how improbable that relationship seems.  I think shedding a tear and being upset is entirely natural.”

Daisy stood up and walked into the kitchen and pulled a beer out of the refrigerator, “Mel, do you want a beer?”  When she declined, Daisy came back into the living room and took a seat on the couch, “I need to figure out what my next step is and just move on.  Decide and do versus sit around and mope.”

“I think you need to go and take a shower and pull yourself together, then get some sleep.  I’ll stick around just in case you need me, but I think maybe going to bed and sleeping on it might be your best bet.”

Daisy nodded in agreement and stood to leave the room, as she was getting ready to walk into the bedroom she turned back to her friend, “When I get out of the shower will you help me change the sheets on my bed?  I don’t want to sleep in the bed that smells like him, I don’t think I can handle that, not tonight.”

“Sure, I can do that for you,” Melody replied.  And as Daisy disappeared into the bedroom she reached for her phone because Chris was about to get a piece of her mind.

~ * ~

When Melody hung up the phone with Chris, she pulled the sheets from the bed and had started headed for the linen closet to get a clean set of sheets.  As she was doing this, Daisy came out of the bathroom all dressed for bed.  When she noticed the bed sheets off of the bed, it set off the waterworks again, and the tears began to slowly fall down her cheek.

“Daisy, I’m sorry I thought you said you wanted to change the sheets on the bed,” Melody remarked somewhat horrified because she thought she had misunderstood what her friend had wanted.

“No, you’re right, this is what I wanted,” she said as she helped pull the new fitted sheet over the corner of the mattress.  “I appreciate you helping, I do.”

Melody walked over and gave her best friend a hug, “I cleaned up for you and put the sheets in the washer, just put them in the dryer in the morning.  You need to try and get some sleep and maybe in the morning you can have a clear mind to decide what you want to do.”

“I don’t know, maybe.”

“I’ll lock up on my way out, and I’ll call you tomorrow,” and with those words Melody walked out of the bedroom and then let herself out of the house.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s